Hello my friends! I’ve decided to take a writing challenge over the summer from my You-Tube friend at a Catholic Mom’s Life. It is on the book A Catholic Mom’s handbook. Each week me and other moms are going to be sharing our take aways from one chapter of the book and make it our own. You can follow hers and others here. That being said here we go.
A lot of us moms want to be the perfect mom who do well for our children and help them grow into loving and caring adults who love God and desire to serve Him. Yet sadly, oftentimes we feel like we have fallen very short. I know that at times I fail miserably. I cry out, “Lord help me!”
From these depths, can come the provocation to seek God and discover an answer and a desire and an impetus for change. I have reached that moment and have discovered in God that this journey toward healing and wholeness is multifaceted. And that little by little we see that even though we have been brought to our knees, God has already been leading and guiding us.
The first step toward being a holy and loving mom is not reading all the latest magazine articles on what works for X mom and how she is so great or the latest blog on self help for a crazy stressed out Mom. Or starting a deep clean of the house and going through everything and getting rid of all that unwanted clutter. It is not taking on a new program for self improvement and doing the best things. It is not starting a trend diet and shedding a few pounds to look great and fit the fashion page of the greatest Mom celebrity. Or taking a week long vacation in Hawaii. (Wouldn’t that be nice! Where’s my ticket?)
Yes, certain aspects of these things are important. But, if we just take the thing we are only brushing the surface and real change will not come about. It has to start at the core; in our very heart.
Why am I a Mom? Because I vowed to Love and Honor my husband for my whole life and we became one flesh. Out of that unity came our lovely beautiful daughter. There is so much depth to this. I joined myself to my husband in marriage. It is here that True love takes wing. It is here that my children will see where everything comes from.
But am I loving him? An honest look has helped me discover that my attitude has been a lot of love me.
Yet that is the world’s way of a Romantic relationship and they don’t last. Well maybe they do but only for a short time; until the well runs dry. I had an idea of just what bar I wanted my husband Jerry to fit. Yet that is how I wanted to be loved. It wasn’t until I began to discover this important fact that real transformation could begin. I wasn’t loving my hubby for who He is and why I married him in the first place.
See that is the problem with ideals. They are just that: ideas. I’m not saying at all that we shouldn’t have a standard and hold our husbands accountable. Definitely not. I want him in heaven with me. I am saying if we have our eye on the idea then we miss the acts of love that he pours out daily in only the way he can. I mean the little individual ways of his affection by his unique personality.
It is in this that comes the key. I may be wanting him to grow so much but then I am missing how He is journeying. Only I know the little quirks and likes and dislikes and desires in a way that no one else can. I need to know what makes him tick. How can I do this? Three simple things.
1)Pray fervently to Christ who is the center of my marriage for my husband where he is. Not the ideals of where I think the change should be or where I want him to be.
2)Hold the complaining tongue and give myself to him by looking for the little cues that he offers me. Sacrificing the way that I might like it. Perseverance to put up with a little suffering and discomfort. This is virtue. This is true love. Self gift. Take the extra step to offer yourself even if it goes unseen.
3)Keep salt alive. Have fun. Look for ways to kindle the flame. It doesn’t have to be an expensive date night either. You’d be amazed that often the most amazing and hilarious and joy filled times are in the simplest pleasures. Look for these times and cherish them. (And yes splurge a little sometimes.) Your marriage is worth it. He is worth it. You are worth it.
Devotion and love grow here. These will bring new life. And you will realize how you are loved. I must have at my core a servant’s heart in order to be a successful mom. This starts with my husband. And my children will see it. They will copy it.