I am Alone

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Hence begins a very familiar scripture passage. These words…why have you forsaken me? Do they not still ring true? What is it in you that holds back in fear and digs for yourself a broken cistern that can hold no water?  God’s will has no mistakes.  He cries out and sends out his will like water to the earth to complete his bidding.


Us humans get in the way. You know what? This is the time to renew oneself at his fountain.  God will turn again and take you in. Like a woman who married young and was forsaken…Desolate and Abandoned…yet GOD says “I will take you back. For a brief moment I abandoned you. I am your husband.”

These are covenant words. Abandonment. We all fear it in one way or another. Do not leave me! Drop me not and leave me not in the cold. I am so afraid of being alone! Well I have hope for you. God promises he will not leave you to the netherworld. How could he since he created you? Love is the freeing agent.  Think about this: true love…forgetfulness of self and a complete gift to the Beloved.  This is the unifying factor and in this is found oneness. This kind of love brings one to the very heights of heaven. How could the Maker allow you to truly slip from his grasp? If you hold onto me, how could I leave you?


So is this a sign?

Most of us would like to know exactly what we are supposed to be doing and have God say, “This is the way!!” Point blank… Black White no grey. Well now isn’t that a little interesting.  Where would be the love in that?


I’ve been reflecting a lot on on strengthening the spiritual muscles.  I had this to reflect on because of my love’s little tease on the phone the other night. “You want to know a little secret?” “Yeah.”

“Did you know I’ve been reacting to get you riled up so that you loose your words and have to practice expressing them?” (This of course meaning devil’s advocate) “You turkey!”

Wait a minute!! Hello! Doesn’t God do that? He sends little trials and tribulations my way to invite me to choose to follow him.  So many times they can be interpreted wrongly…as a no.

turn right

BUT what about this new answer. Look again. God if he’s not the one then can he have car trouble…Is he the one? “Yes…but how much do you really love him to go get him?” Is she for me? “Yes…but can you (this is to my fiance) grow a little by buying a more reliable car next time?”

I want to pay off a little debt. “Yes…but can you take on these extra shifts and hours even though you don’t feel like it?”

Half the time it is like, “Oh dear Jesus I’m going crazy?  Why all this hubbub?”  When the only thing that is happening is…”If you love me, show me. Here you go.”

I want to be a writer. “Yes but can you persevere through these computer problems and be intentional about writing by putting forth a good effort consistently?”

We ask for signs and yet sometimes they come in ways we don’t expect and we cry out, “God! You aren’t showing me!”

I say Lord if he’s the one why am I having reoccurring doubt? There is nothing blaringly obvious. That is a good question. Why? “How much do you love me? Can you show me? Choose your path. Get out of the dust. I am making all things new.”

Don’t get me wrong. It is good to be aware of the little things and listen to your gut but what I am trying to say is make sure you know where the “little things” are coming from. There is the existence of the evil one and we are silly if we believe every little thing (flea) to be a serious sign (dead dog) to turn this direction.  If that were the case we would be turning in circles. Life happens.  You’ll know a dead dog when you see one. So is this a sign? Yes. There is no mistake in what God allows. “If you love me show me.” Choose freely. Take your move and play your card.

My Strength is in the Lord Our God

I skipped my Friday. I do have some videos and reflections coming your way.  Discernment is definitely not for the weak of heart.  God Desires to make you and me strong. But being strong means exercising the muscles. That is what God has been doing to me and I will share some insight on how to navigate these waters with you because it is important for me to be there for you in your journey and hopefully a bit of my story will help you. God uses the weak to raise up the lowly and frustrate the proud and rich man who isn’t being a good steward.

Blessings until we meet again,


Restore in Me a New Heart and Attitude!

New Creations Ministries


Years of being beaten down by life can take its toll on someone’s mind, body and spirit. Do you believe the whispers of the devil when he states you can’t be successful or you have no value? Lies. Satan wants you to self-destruct, destroying your bodily temple so others will look at you and have no desire to be a Christian. Why would someone ever desire to be a disciplined, honorable Christian if that person can’t control their own lifestyle? Would anyone ever wake up and profess, “Wow, I can’t wait to be as unhealthy as Esmeralda today?!”

Actually some do.

“Sylvester” at 550 plus pounds, was so heavy he had to be weighed on a postal scale. The physicians and I worked with him, encouraging a healthier lifestyle but to no avail. Each week only brought excuses. The doctors and I kept encouraging him, not charging for our services. Two doctors even purchased food and a hospital bed out of their own pockets. Nevertheless this man eventually went on The…

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What if I fall?

A few thoughts on free-falling to the Lord

Cristian Mihai


“What if I fall?” 
“Oh my darling, what if you fly?”

Do you ever ask yourself if you like the person you are? If you are who you’ve always wanted to be? Do you know who you want to be?

To be honest, it wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized who I really wanted to be. I want to be that guy who tells people they can fly. I want to see the magic they have stored up in their hearts for so long. And I want to make them see it, I want to make them use it. Because, truth be told, falling is just another way to fly.

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What a word. It stuck out to me a couple days ago and has stuck with me.

Unless you eat of the flesh of Man and Drink his blood you shall not have life within you.

Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies it remains but a single grain with no life.

These are words of Christ.  If this then that…it implies a cause and effect. So then the not counts too…again the power of choice with eternal consequences.

But I realized there is another unless.

Unless I put my hand in his side and fingers in the mark of his nails I will not believe.

This came from a regular mouth of a man.  A man who was searching. Instead of being with the community of his brothers was off somewhere.  Perhaps he was grieving…processing.  How could God just go and die and disappear?  And THEN before he could even get used to the idea all the sudden his brothers say… “HE IS ALIVE!!”

At first appearance, it seems that he is doubting.  Yet at the same time he questions. He wants to find out for himself the existence of the impossible.  God honors this, but first Thomas again needed to be with the community. Scripture says a week later. It took him time to arrive there.


Christ says: Peace be with you.

He approaches Thomas and calls him by name.

“Put your fingers where the nails have been and your hand in my side. You believe because you have seen me but blessed are those who believe without seeing.”

I have been seeing it is in the attitude.

Unless I get good sleep I get so grumpy.

Unless you help me move I can’t.

Unless you remove the blinders from my eyes then I can’t see.

Unless you hit me over the head I can’t hear.

Kinda discouraging when the eyes stay here…on the fact instead of the Person. It is important to recognize the unless. BUT it turns to doubt pretty fast.  What are my limiting factors?  God wants us to acknowledge these but not FOCUS on them. He does speak.

“My Lord and my God!”

What is my response?  Is it humility?


1hope verb \ˈhōp\
: to want something to happen or be true and think that it could happen or be true

Full Definition of HOPE

intransitive verb
: to cherish a desire with anticipation
archaic : trust
transitive verb
: to desire with expectation of obtainment
: to expect with confidence : trust
— hop·er noun
— hope against hope
: to hope without any basis for expecting fulfillment
See hope defined for English-language learners »
See hope defined for kids »
Examples of HOPE

No one knows yet if anyone survived the crash. At this point, we can only hope.
I hope you’re feeling better soon.
That’s what she hoped would happen.
Let’s hope that the strike ends soon.
I hope I haven’t bored you.
Everyone in your family is well, I hope.
Origin of HOPE

Middle English, from Old English hopian; akin to Middle High German hoffen to hope
First Known Use: before 12th century
Rhymes with HOPE

cope, coup, dope, grope, lope, mope, nope, ope, pope, rope, scop, scope, slope, soap, stope, taupe, tope, trope
2hope noun
: the feeling of wanting something to happen and thinking that it could happen : a feeling that something good will happen or be true

: the chance that something good will happen

: someone or something that may be able to provide help : someone or something that gives you a reason for hoping
Full Definition of HOPE

archaic : trust, reliance
a : desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment ; also : expectation of fulfillment or success
b : someone or something on which hopes are centered
c : something hoped for
See hope defined for English-language learners »
Examples of HOPE

When they started their life together, they were young and full of hope.
Rescuers have not yet abandoned hope that more survivors will be found.
The drug has brought hope to thousands of sufferers.
We allowed ourselves to entertain hopes that the crisis would end soon.
The goal raised the hopes of the team.
The hope is that there will be a settlement soon.
The lawyers do not want to raise false hopes of an early settlement.
He told them the truth with the hope that they would understand.
He had little hope of attending college.
The latest reports hold out hope for a possible end to this crisis.
First Known Use of HOPE

before 12th century


: pain that is caused by injury, illness, loss, etc. : physical, mental, or emotional pain

sufferings : feelings of pain

Full Definition of SUFFERING

: the state or experience of one that suffers
: pain

Examples of SUFFERING

ways to alleviate human suffering
They hope these new drugs will help to bring an end to the suffering of arthritis patients.
His lawsuit seeks damages for pain and suffering.
the sufferings of the dying
First Known Use of SUFFERING

14th century